My heartbreak is grief that comes in waves, grueling, stealing appetite and sleep alike. It is a shard in my guts that never leaves, though perhaps in time the edges will dull. It feels like death just the same as bereavement and in quiet moments it chokes the breath from my body and short circuits my mind. What was once whole is shattered; where once was peace is emptiness, echoes of a love I put my everything into. Inadequate as you find me, this is my best, it is all that is left of a once a proud and strong soul – fragments on the floor, scared that the next wind will blow them away.
And they say “Doubters are dreamers with broken hearts”.
But that inevitable person changed my once broken heart into its wholeness. In spite of however an intolerable person I was, he fixed me. Not just by loving me, but by making me strong. There ain’t a single day when he wasn’t there to make me the person I am today. Well he made me believe in forever again, made me the happiest person, made me fall in love with myself before him.
It’s strange – frightening even – how you can go from someone being a complete stranger, to then being completely infatuated by them and wondering how it ever was that you were able to live without them, because you sure as hell couldn’t imagine being without them now. I know we’re only young, and most people would consider me to be foolish and naïve, but it’s true when I say that I love him more than I could ever love myself. He’s my best friend and, as cheesy as it sounds, he’s my anchor. My one stability in this world filled with chaos.
Inevitable heartbreaks do heal.